Blog : Two weeks to launch: what’s on your miss list?

Two weeks to launch:Tonight I will not be playing my first gig under my new name supporting Peter Buck and Luke Haines in Oxted, but that’s ok.

Tomorrow I will not be driving home to Bristol, still buzzing from the excitement of sharing new songs with new people, getting back in time to finish off the last bits of holiday packing and jump in a cab to the airport. That’s also ok.

It’s ok, though, to feel a bit sad about things we care about, even when they pale into insignificance compared to other peoples’ hardships.

I spent last Monday struggling under a big black cloud. Feelings of guilt for being alive, fear of leaving the house even to take the dogs round my quiet neighbourhood. Bursting into tears at the thought of all the people sick in hospitals around the world, all the people working in the hospitals around the world, all the people in the food supply chains ensuring we don’t go hungry, and on and on and on.

I’ve always found it hard to watch the news. I feel things “too much”.

On Monday I wrote out all my feelings with no filter, turned off the internet, dragged myself off for a walk by the river in the sunshine and then lay on the sofa under a pile of dogs. Tuesday felt like an emotional hangover, Wednesday was better and yesterday I got the artwork for my first single done, approved the mix of the new song and knocked the new website into shape.

I anticipate many of these ups and downs over the next however long, and I no longer feel guilty for feeling all the things. I’m grateful for having self-imposed deadlines to focus my energies on, and you to write to. Thank you.

If you’re finding it tough going at the moment, I found this clever graphic from Blessing Manifesting helpful. I’ve been trying to check in on myself regularly and see whether I’m feeling ok and if not, what might help. For me, daily exercise + lots of water + Vitamin D tablets + food at decent intervals gets me to a certain point, and I’ve been trying to meditate more and make myself go outside.

Two weeks to launch: what's on your miss list? 1

I watched this video today, which I found very down to earth, a little bit inspiring and full of good facts. Thank you to Philip for sharing it with me:

This week I also really enjoyed this blog post, “Things I Miss” by one of my favourite Insta portrait artists, @helenlp. It reminded me that it’s not elitist or indulgent to miss things, it’s perfectly natural.

When I broke my foot in 2016 I had to be told by my physio that I was experiencing significant pain, and it would take time to heal and get back to mobility and fitness (which is why I’m so delighted about FINALLY being able to run again). Just because some people have worse problems, he said, doesn’t mean your foot doesn’t hurt.

What’s on your miss list?

Here’s mine:

Going wherever I like to do whatever I fancy
Hugging friends
Days out in nature
Lazy weekend afternoons reading and writing in cafes
Going to the cinema
Playing music in a room with people I don’t know, and talking to them afterwards
Feeling too lazy to cook and ordering Indian takeaway
Pizza*

Sending love to you and yours
Laura xxx

* yes OF COURSE pizza was originally top of the list 😉

Two weeks to launch: what's on your miss list?

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If you enjoyed this blog post, please grab 5 free songs here and join my friendly online community. She Makes War is ending, but my new project launches on 1st May. Join ussssss!

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16 thoughts on “Two weeks to launch: what’s on your miss list?

  1. Helenlp says:

    I’m so glad you enjoyed my blogpost. I enjoyed this one too. You reminded me that I left the cinema off my list and that’s probably the one thing I miss more than anything!

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      Fingers crossed we’ll be back doing at least some of our favourite things soon. Thanks so much for writing your post, it was as beautiful as your drawings (and you know I LOVE those) x

  2. Andre Hill says:

    Top of my list is socialising &hugging and I don’t even care if they are friends or not!!

    Playing is also high up there. We tried to play a hymn and a march over Zoom last weekend. Results can be viewed and heard on YouTube by searching for “gb 85 social distancing special”. Please ignore if brass bands are not your thing! (See if you can spot me Laura). This weekend we’re going to do a quiz instead, it’ll be slightly more productive I think.

    Can you not get Indian takeaway and pizza deliveries? We can here in Leeds. Dominos is still open locally though not sure about Pizza Hut and local Indians are too. Only downside is there are no Chinese open.

    Anyway keep smiling and I can’t wait for the ‘new’ you on May 1st. Hope hubby and the dogs are ok.

    Andre xx

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      I’m not sure how I feel about food deliveries tbh, are they safe? I’m certainly not judging anyone else for getting them but it seems a bit counterintuitive. If we had a decent selection round my way I might feel a bit differently, as it is we only have the choice of Dominos (always seems like it’ll be nice, always isn’t) and one Indian restaurant which is ok. Leeds has SUCH great food. I’m jealous.

      Yay you and your brass band, nice work! We’re all fine here, thanks Andre xx

  3. Jo says:

    I loved this post, it really struck a chord. Thank you for sharing Laura..
    Top of my miss list at present is being able to be with family, particularly my in-laws as we are feeling the loss of a loved one acutely.
    Hugs! I love hugs. It is mighty strange continuing to work in my school without any of the positive, affirming contact we are so used to.
    Rowing – on the harbour and on the sea.
    Post row pints – it isn’t just about the exercise and competition!
    Music gigs and theatre – I’ve actually lost count of the amount of rescheduled shows or refunds I have to look forward to.
    The sea. Since being deprived of it I realise just how much I crave it – walking by it, paddling in it, gazing at it, listening to it, photographing it, smelling and tasting the air around it, swimming in it and rowing on it!

    My mood is up and down like a rollercoaster but getting out every day with the dog and being in nature is the most helpful thing of all. Back indoors, music, art and books are keeping me sane.
    Oh, and the home made mojitos, they’re also pretty good

    Stay safe Laura
    Sending you much love xx

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      And what glorious nature you have right on your doorstep, Jo! Whenever I walk the dogs down your way I do a little mental wave in your direction, it’s a lovely part of Bristol isn’t it. It’s all so hard, I feel really fortunate to be ok at the moment, but it’s a mental slog. I don’t want lockdown to be lifted until it’s absolutely safe to go out, but the lack of an end date makes it hard doesn’t it. I keep using running analogies, forgive me, but if we don’t know how long the race is we don’t know what pace to go at, hence all the dips, aside of course from catastrophic external events. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m so sorry it’s made worse by this situation xx

  4. Rich Dixon says:

    What do I miss the most?
    Going to the cinema,
    Riding on a bus,
    Sharing the pavement.
    Going to the laundrette (currently handwashing EVERYTHING)
    Digging through vinyl and magazine racks.
    Putting an arm around mates as we laugh at each other’s jokes.

    Like you, my moods have been a bit up and down. I would be worried if I found the current circumstances making me feel positive all the time! However, we will get through this, and I hope society will change positively from the experience.. Keep safe, keep creative!

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      Yeah, if we were 100% fine there would definitely be something a bit strange! I’ve been trying to get the things done I was going to do anyway but pace myself on the rest of it. Sorry about the hand washing, that sounds like a real drag…at least we don’t *have* to dress up much at the moment.

      I think there will be a lot of positive things that come from this, it’s the nature of humans to innovate and it’ll be interesting what happens. I just wish this could have been an experiment that had nothing to do with loss of life, my heart just aches for all that.

  5. Collin Avis says:

    Things I am missing some are meaningless, my hobby materials, my record player, meaningful things to do, I can buy new bits from the internet, I can listen to music on the radio and tv, I can do things for others where possible,

    Once this is over I can complete my house move and be reunited with all my stuff.

    The one thing that is hurting is lack of social interaction, I talk to friends and family all the time but it’s not the same as going out for a ride on a sunny day and meeting up for coffee and cake.

    Being on your own during this lockdown makes you realise just how much we are social animals.

    Wishing you all are well and safe. Laura thank you for the music, cannot wait to see what you future plans are.

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      I don’t think anything that we miss is meaningless, or we wouldn’t miss them! What hobby materials are you missing?

      I’m finding this time useful for focusing in on what I really care about and what I really want to spend my time on. It was quite a relief when I thought long and hard about it and decided to proceed with all my plans exactly as I’d planned them out at the end of last year! The only difference is this extra song that I wrote during lockdown, the schedule I had in front of me was quite manageable before that came along but it’s one of the great benefits of being totally indie that I can do whatever I like 🙂

      I’m quite a hermit at the best of times but I am thinking a lot about making more effort when we’re allowed out again to go to new places and spend time with the people I care about face to face.

  6. Andrew Price says:

    I miss :
    Going for a long drive;
    The Scottish Highlands;
    The Pub!;
    Live music;
    Going to the cinema;
    Going for a long walk;
    Visiting family as we are spread apart;
    Not trying to guess how far 2 metres actually is!

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      Great list, Andrew! I hear you on the 2 metre thing, my local neighbourhood has very narrow pavements and people really don’t seem to think any of this applies to them 🙁

  7. Kav says:

    A beautifully worded and inspiring blog post, Laura. Some great tips for self-care and keeping yourself on the right track emotionally and in other ways. Thank you!

    It’s fairly easy and cheap to make your own pizzas, by the way (if you can get hold of some flour!) Here’s the recipe I use (with strong bread flour):
    https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/bread-recipes/pizza-dough/
    I preheat a lightly oiled baking tray in the oven, roll out the dough and put the base directly onto the hot baking tray, then arrange my pre-prepared toppings and into the oven it goes for 15 mins at about 200 °c. Keeps my takeaway pizza cravings at bay anyway…

    Keep well and happy x

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      YUM thank you for the recipe! Tim has a gluten issue but is fine with sourdough, so I have some rye flour on order for delivery next week and am going to make a sourdough starter so we can have home pizza. I’ll save that link for when we have our own wild yeast ready to go! Mmmmmmm pizza.

      Thank *you* for reading! xo

  8. SteveinSoCal says:

    Hi Laura, Greetings (not sure that’s actually the right salutation, however…) from my little locked-down corner of Ventura County, CA. I’ve really enjoyed your TIC posts – for reasons to numerous and endearing to mention – and like several I’ve wanted to comment previously, but – may be because I oscillate wildly between glass half-full and half-empty – this post just somehow struck a particular chord

    Things that I miss – in no particular order – but more importantly will never, ever, take for granted again
    1. Friends and family back home – plans for a visit are as they say, on-hold
    2. Just being out and about, walking on the beach…
    3. Sitting outside our favourite side-walk café, sipping a coffee, eating a slice of their amazing carrot cake and people watching (my favourite underrated pastime)
    4. Gigs… LA reminds me of the London gig scene in the late 70s / early 80s – lots of small “dive bar” venues, a vibrant music scene and the chance to see as diverse a range of acts as you could imagine – plus the added bonus of seeing a UK-based band up close and intimate… I really hope both venues and artists get through this… To compensate I’ve bought a shed-load of music of late (bandcamp of course :)) and tixs for artists playing at home… it’s not the same…
    5. Football – never, ever will I complain about Cambridge United ruining my weekend before 9 am on a Saturday morning

    But while I may never get to see SMW play my favourite intimate venue in LA, I do look forward to the next chapter of the adventures of Laura Kidd 🙂

    1. Laura Kidd says:

      Hey Steve! I *lovvvvvve* LA – spent a few days there on tour playing bass for Tricky in 2008 and would have stayed for much longer if I could. Your list is so good. I definitely took a lot of my liberties for granted and didn’t see friends as much as I should have, this is a wakeup call about a few things for me. One of them is figuring out how to travel more widely to play shows, there has to be a way! Thanks *so* much for your kind comments about the emails I’ve been sending, I really had no idea if people would welcome them but doing it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made for ages. Really looking forward to sharing new stuff with you in 10 days YAY xx

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